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Scotty From Marketing has attempted to help his MPs take their minds off the economic collapse they have sent our country into through franking credits and the $1B worth of ineligible pre-election sports and infrastructure grants.
After a 4-month bushfire season that only just wrapped up due to the out-of-season rainfall that is now fucking up our waterways with the ash run-off, Morrison says he just hasn’t had time to bring in the roaring twenties the way he wanted to on New Years Eve.
“Lets bring in the roaring twenties! haha” says Morrison, flanked by his corruption-plagued cabinet members, all dressed head to toe in cheap 1920s costume outfits.
“Check out my cane hat haha”
Throughout his career Morrison has often spruiked his love of 1920s Americana, and everything that came with it.
From the trickle down economics that destroyed industry in the Appalachian rust belt, to the fact that gay people couldn’t even admit to their sins without being incarcerated – let alone being afforded the right to marry in a church.
This obscure dress-up party has done well to distract both sides of Parliament from the news that Australia’s leading economists predict that our nation is heading for a soul-destroying recession, as the continuing impact of the coronavirus outbreak (Brexit, populism, unchecked criminality of global financial institutions) has seen the stock market endure its worst day since the global financial crisis.
Around $200bn was wiped from the value of shares as the ASX200 lost 7.33%. The Australian dollar was also briefly trading as low as 63.98 US cents.
Many Quiet Australians are now questioning the brain power of our elected officials, who have proven time and time again to be about as useful as tits on a bull during national emergencies.
However, the rusted on Coalition voter base have defended the government’s handling incoming recession that will destroy the hopes and dreams of the Australian working class – with many praising the government for their commitment to the ‘1920s theme’.
The Great Depression started in the United States after a major fall in stock prices that began around September 4, 1929. By1932, worldwide gross domestic product (GDP) fell by an estimated 15% and the planet had to kill a couple dozen citizens in WWII to get through it.
“How Good’s Great Gatsby. I don’t read much but I loved the movie with Leo haha” said Scotty, during his 1920’s themed press conference this morning.
“Even better that it was filmed in Australia. It just goes to show that Australia can look and act exactly like America if we want it to”
“All we have to do is get rid of medicare and the minimum wage haha”