The leaders of the Liberal Party have moved once again today to assure the nation that they are the safest pair of hands.

Despite a chequered history of financial errors, the man who overestimated JobKeeper by $60 billion says that no one else but he and his party can be trusted with the nation’s finances.

“Just look at the way Mr Albanese stuffed up the unemployment rate the other day,” said the Treasurer Josh Frydenberg.

“He and the Labor party are just no good with numbers,” continued the nation’s finance guy who has blown the budget deficit out, frittered billions away on various rorts, and given large businesses billions in welfare they don’t need.

“We’d never get something like that wrong.”

“You need to be across the basics if you want to run the country,” said Frydenberg, who once got a number wrong by 60 billion.

“We know how to manage the books, we always have,” continued the party who seem to think being at the steering wheel during a record resources boom and period of economic prosperity make them smart economic managers.

This claim comes despite the fact his government has blown the budget deficit out from $253 billion in 2013 all the way to nearly a trillion dollars by the middle of this year.

Despite using the spicy cough as an excuse, the safe economic managers already had us up to well over 500 billion in debt before the pangolin kissed us, and have made matters worse by giving billions to people like Gerry Harvey in handouts and marginal electorates to build random car parks.

However, the government has revealed that that level of debt is something that has come as part of the process of running the country, rather than economic mismanagement that crippled the nation when Labor was in charge.

More to come.


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