Woman Officially Feeling Old After Every Actress She Googles Is Now Younger Than Her
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Ashling Murphy (31) is experiencing a second wave of aging terror after coming to find every
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Melbourne’s Vegan Protests Lose Momentum As Activists Begin Napping Due To Iron Deficiencies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne’s animal rights activists are starting to slow down this morning, after coming out of
Vegan Protestor Immediately Joins The Katter Party After Seeing How Fucked Things Are Up North
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One Melbourne-based animal rights advocate has today experienced a life-changing turn-around, after witnessing heartbreaking scenes on
Croatian Minefield Replaces All Future SCG Fixtures Amid Safety Concerns
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Several minefields outside Sistak in central Croatia have been earmarked to replace the Sydney Cricket Ground
Local Woman Regrets Setting Phone To Silent Now She Can’t Fucking Find It
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Local smartphone user Karen Strzelecki (35) has learnt the true feeling of regret after setting her
AFL Exists In Queensland Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In a what comes as a shock to the people of Queensland this weekend, it has
Aliens Bypass Earth After Learning About CrossFit
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Extra-terrestrial researchers had their life’s ambition ripped away from them at the last minute today
Local Couple Clash Over What Constitutes A ‘Serving Size’
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local couple embarking on a joint weight loss journey have butted heads this evening while
Friends Eagerly Await End Of Breakup Cooling Off Period So They Can Begin Slagging Ex-Boyfriend
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Time appears to have slowed down for a group of friends today after yet another day
Nightwatchman’s Media Team Ban FM Radio Interviews Until This Engadine Maccas Shit Dies Down
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Scott Morrison has been spoon fed some very clear instructions from his media team today. “Nightwatch-
Absolute Fucking Wanker Does That Beer Thing
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local man has today demonstrated to all of his colleagues why he is the office
Barossa Hens Party Activities Based Solely Around Getting The Right Shot In The Vineyards
INGRID DOULTON | Culture | Contact A savvy Maid of Honour named Bridget Elkic is today receiving accolades for the way she
Nightwatchman Refuses To Grant Assange Refuge After WikiLeaks Blows Whistle On Engadine Maccas
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation’s Nightwatchman has today officially ruled out taking Julian Assange in from the London