Budget Winner? Loser? Just Shut Up And Have A Beer
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It is Friday afternoon and I have been asked to explain the budget and I am
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Time Forced To Revoke Giving Greta Thunberg Person Of The Year After Offending Gary From Tamworth
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In an event that has angered many the owner of a saggy, white ballsack, Time Magazine
Garlic Heavy Lunch Valiantly Defeats Several Rounds Of Mouthwash
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT An inner-city businesswoman has royally fucked up her day by eating garlic chicken salad for lunch.
Prime Minister Keeps Up His “Everyday Australian” Act By Being Unfit To Run A Country
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As a chunk of the nation continues to burn Prime Minister Scott Morrison isn’t afraid
Australian Quite Relieved His Ancestors Broke The Law
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As news of the UK election results rolls in and the Boris Johnson lead Conservative party
Local Woman Now At The “Plough On” Stage As Dinner Recipe Gets Unrealistically Complicated
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local sucker for punishment has done it again this week. After a big day at
8-Year-Old Overcomes Irrational Fears About Quicksand
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Betoota resident Liam Mitchell has reportedly been keeping an eye out for any suspicious-looking mud piles
Grill’d Quietly Enquire With RFS About Recruiting Some Of Their Volunteer Firefighters
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Overpriced fast food joint Grill’d have discreetly contacted the Rural Fire Service today. The company
Westpac Gathers Shareholders To Discuss Whether They Should Stop Funding Terrorists And Pedophiles
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Big Four Bank Westpac has today brought its shareholders in to discuss the fact they should
Cheerful Rural Fireys Call It A Day And Get Ready To Cheer The Boys On Over In Perth
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The firefighters battling blazes across the Eastern Seaboard have decided to finally call it a day.
Anxious Millennials Killing The Telemarketing Industry By Not Answering Private Numbers
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT In worrying news, millennials are under fire again today for ruining yet another industry. According to
James Packer Bans Mariah’s Annual Christmas Hit From All Crown Venues
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some sad news for recreational and problem gamblers, Mariah Carey’s Annual smash hit ‘All
“What About China And India?” Says MP Of Electorate Responsible For 10% Of Global Coal Exports
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The man representing the region that exports a huge chunk of Australia’s coal has today