Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
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Tradesman Incredibly Impressed By Customer Who “Could Have Done It Myself If I Had The Time”
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Built-in Wardrobe installer Barry Hotchkiss from Hotchkiss Wardrobes and Shower Screens thought he was
Sydney Roosters To Promote Promising Young Eastern Suburbs Junior Into 30 Man Squad
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some exciting news from the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, a hard-working young kid is
Report: Turns Out Mate’s Cousin’s Fiancé Doesn’t Actually Work On Set Of Reality TV Show
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from Betoota’s Old City District, it can be revealed that a
Local Woman Scans Email Draft For A Suitable Place To Pop In An Exclamation Mark
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT As she rewrites her email for the fifth time, local woman Nadia Toomes feels like the
Report: Driving Away As Someone Reaches For Door Handle Never Not Funny
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact A newly-released report has found that there is a 0% chance that driving away
Government That Accuses CSIRO Of Lying Every Election Shocked Nation Rejects Science On Masks
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government is today shaking its head at the level of debate surrounding masks and
Annastacia Palaszczuk Gives The Katter Boys Permission To Shoot The 185 Quarantine Escapees On Sight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The hunt is on! Across the state in Queensland today, Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has given the
Melbourne Retailers To Double Price Of Masks And Label Them ‘Vintage’
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a move to improve the public image of masks in Victoria, the Deputy Chief Medical
Local Woman Awkwardly Commits To Holding Door For Pensioner Who’s At Least 12 Paces Behind
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT There are few awkward experiences everyone has felt at least once in their life. Realising that
Half Sucked Throat Lozenge Wrapped In Tissue Wreaks Havoc On Washing Machine
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Grumbling to herself as she picks bits of lint and tissue off some soggy wet uniforms,
Dan Andrews Puts On His Suburban Dad Hat And Tells Victoria That Only Boring People Get Bored
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The escalating diplomatic spat between Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews and Karen from Brighton has geared up
Eternally Closing Down Rug Store Announces COVID-19 Limit Of 2 Rugs Per Customer
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In a sign of the times, moderately popular rug store Crazy Sam’s Discount Rugs Closing