Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
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Local Pescatarian Cuts To The Chase And Just Eats All The Microplastics In Exfoliating Scrub
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a somewhat odd story from Betoota Heights this morning, a young lady named Alsion Lee
20-Year-Old Complaining About Cyclists Accused Of Appropriating Boomer Culture
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With the advent of things like ‘OK Boomer’ separating the younger and older generations more than
‘This Is It’ Says Woman With Random Stabbing Pain In Chest After Eating Falafel Wrap In 4 Minutes
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local woman has experienced the shock of her life today, after eating a falafel wrap
COVIDsafe Marshal Curses This Virus After Another Bus Full Of Boomers Need Help With QR Code
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local pub employee has given this damn virus a bloody spray over the weekend after
Elon Musk Does Weird Thing
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact The Tech World is abuzz this week after Elon Musk did some sort of weird
“Does She Come With It Hahaha” Asks Dad
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact A fairly ordinary television advertisement for a local boat retailer featuring a scantily-clad model
All Future Rockstar Biographies To Include Boring COVID-19 Chapter
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact SPOILER ALERT There comes a time in every young person’s life when they think it
Art Class Under Siege As Teachers Pet’s Beautiful Landscape Cops A Mysterious Splash Of Paint
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Teachers aren’t supposed to have favourites, but for art teacher Ms P, it’s pretty
Report: Body-Shaming Only Okay When Publican Feels Like A Chair Might Break
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local bloke has today been body-shamed after he was seen teetering on a flimsy
Patient And Generous Woman Named Karen Considering A Coon Cheese Style Rebrand
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact According to a Sunrise poll and a Domino’s Pizza social media post it is in
Phone Placed Precariously On Top Of Toilet Confirms 2020 Could Still Get Worse Than It Is
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Despite the fact that for most people 2020 has been a dumpster fire of burning
Barnaby Spends Entire Grocery Trip Wondering How Tamworth Shopping Centre Got That Car Inside
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT As he pushes a slightly skewed trolley through the fresh produce aisle, Barnaby Joyce finds himself