Minister Confirms Dead Birds Go In The Red Bin, Not The Green Bin, As Bird COVID Kicks Off
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Ag Minister Julie Collins has all but confirmed this week that the nation is
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Scotty Officially Clocks Off To Spend More Time With Family (Who Were To Blame For Everything)
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Former marketing manager Scotty from Marketing has delivered a teary final speech and has officially finished
Taylor Swift Breaks Australian Tour Records By Not Doing A Shoey
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact Taylor Swift pandemonium has swept the nation following the conclusion of the Australian leg of her
Generous Dad Promises To Give Kids A Couple Hundred Grand If He Wins Oz Lotto Tonight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A philanthropic local man has today wowed his family with a touching display of generosity. Grahame
NRL Stars Warned That What Happens In Vegas Stays On NRL360 For 12 Months
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A travelling band of rugby league players have today been read the riot act. With four
Sydney Woman Finally Arrives Home From Homebush After Last Night’s Taylor Swift Concert
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Sydney woman is in a deep slumber, it can be confirmed. Bridie Henson (29) from
Australian Mums Absolutely Taking Robert Irwin’s Side Post Break Up
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact I’D LOVE HIM TO MEET MY STACEY: Australian mums have united this week after it
“These Swifties Are Obnoxious” Says Man Who Yells “Kick You Fucking Donkey” At Pub TV Every Saturday
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local arbiter of good taste has today offered up his unsolicited thoughts on the Swiftiemania
New Band That Sounds Like Paramore Is Just Paramore
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In recent years, radio listeners have observed a new phenomenon where various bands and artists have
Mum Doesn’t Understand Why MAFS Can’t Just Pick Six Nice Boys
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Is there other life in the universe? How do bicycles work? Why do TV journalists put
Grotty Housemate’s Urine Aim Almost As Inconsistent As His Toothpaste Spit
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Calls for an emergency share house meeting are growing this week as a group
Ticket Inspectors Sweep Through Tram Like Sardaukar Soldiers
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A fearless troop of bloodthirsty mercenaries have been sighted in downtown Betoota this morning
Melbourne Demons Call Emergency Pint And Punt Sesh At A Pub In Sorrento
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The AFL’s most ‘prestigious’ club has today called an emergency meeting to try and stop