At Times Like This, We Miss Buzzfeed And Their "Iran Is Still Serving Cunt" Style Headlines

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

In terms of youth-orientated media in the past 20 years, none was bigger than Buzzfeed and their demise split denizens of this internet wasteland. Some relished, some did, uh, the opposite.

Neither could argue their place, however.

For the financially-downtrodden Millennial cohort of around 2014 to 2019, Buzzfeed was the homepage. The pointless quizzes, the riviting listicles, the oddly compelling videos of people trying foreign snacks and visiting active war zones, or was that Vice? It was a simpler time. A time before the world decided to start several wars at once.

Which is why, one month into a full-scale conflict in the Middle East, many of that same cohort find themselves staring at the ceiling wondering what Buzzfeed would have done with all this.

Because say what you will about the outlet, they had a gift for repackaging the unthinkable into something you'd click on during your lunch break.

"15 Times Iran Absolutely Ate And Left No Crumbs." "This Tomahawk Missile Is Giving Main Character Energy And Honestly We're Here For It." "Iran's Air Defence System Just Failed The Vibe Check And It's Giving Unalive." "The Pentagon Understood The Assignment And We're Literally Shaking." "Living Rent Free In Tehran (Because It Got Flattened)."

And those are just the hard news pieces. Imagine the lifestyle desk.

"Not The Strait Of Hormuz Being Lowkey Iconic RN." "This War Is Brainrot And We're Not Even Sorry." "Iran Is In Its Flop Era And The Girlies Are Noticing." "Which Gulf State Are You Based On Your Star Sign?"

It was journalism for people who knew how to read but didn't like doing it. And right now, with cable news running 24-hour panels of retired generals pointing at maps and male podcasters in dimly lit rooms explaining geopolitics they learned about on Tuesday, there's a Buzzfeed-shaped hole in the discourse.

Somewhere, a 35-year-old account director is doomscrolling Twitter and wondering that, "they would have known what to do with JD Vance's nuclear suicide vest thing. No cap, that's delulu."

And she's right. They would have.

More to come.