Alpha Male Performs Unique Mating Display Of Violently Throwing Bag Of Ice Onto Concrete Floor

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Local man Eric Matherson is strong.

Strong like ox.

Or at least, that’s the impression a group of women have gathered after he performed a unique mating display.

Definitely, the type of kid in primary school that tried to stack multiple chairs on top of each other, the twenty two year old has managed to get himself the attention he so obviously craves, by dramatically slamming a bag of ice on the floor like a WWE wrestler.

This strange attempt at flouting masculinity is said to have occurred at an afternoon BBQ, and reportedly set forth a challenge to nearby males – all of whom, began to take turns slamming the ice onto the floor.

It’s alleged that when the ice had become so pulverised it could only be of use for a slushie, that the men had turned to a passive-aggressive display of taking over the BBQ tongs.

A local woman who attended the barbecue said she was thoroughly impressed by the communal meat flipping, and that the mix of flame and large forks created the desired effect of primal lust amongst all women present.

More to come.