Yuppie Dad Forced To Permanently Wear Long Sleeves To Hide The Shame Of His 2014 Steresonic Koi Fish Era

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With dance music no longer considered a mainstream artform and Australia's last remaining nightclub goers being stung by prohibitively expensive drinks and cover charges, the 2010s feel like a lifetime ago.

The once robust of army of Australian techno enthusiasts now find themselves isolated to underground warehouse raves and bush doofs.

In fact, the vast majority of true believers from the Steresonic golden era have moved on and settled down into suburban life.

Jay, a former labourer from Betoota's upper middle class suburb of Betoota Grove is one of those of dance music refugees.

He's swapped the stringlets and Nike Air Max with a pastel menswear and birkenstocks.

His once carefully crafted asymmetrical mohawk fringe has been replaced by a receeding hairline that he hides under a New York Yankees baseball cap.

The bumbag full of little party treats and cologne is now a carry bag full of clean nappies and dummy sterilisers.

Nowadays he spends his Sunday mornings bouncing between farmers markets and organic FODMAP cafes in Betoota's gentrifying suburbs.

After meeting a normal white collar girl in 2018, Jay is no longer a slave to the rave.

But still, even through all of the beige linen and European film festivals, Jay still carries scars from his days as an amateur bodybuilder who worshipped only one God - a Swedish DJ by the name of Avicii.

Aside from accidentally drifting off into the muzz when the in-store playlist at General Pants gets a bit too dirty, Jay also carries his 2014 Stereosonic era on his sleeve. Literally.

A full sleeve.

A permanent technicoloured koi fish.

"Yeah it was the thing" he said.

"Couple boys had the socro (southern cross). Some of them had a suchie (Such Is Life) on the chest"

"But the koi fish was more me... It was then anyway"

It's for this reason that Jay can now only wear long-sleeved shirts and jackets at every public outing in the microbreweries and Korean BBQ joints of the Betoota French Quarter.