"You Peasants Can Carpool," Say People Who Actually Should Be

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Federal Government is asking people to carpool because America and Israel have bombed the shit out of Iran and made getting oil out of the country very difficult, which has fucked many things on this island of ours.

One of them being the price of fuel, which is fucked. It'll probably make the Reserve Bank flog fuck out of mortgages holders and young families with no equity and no fucken way out. That's fucked. It's also fucked farmers because they actually put diesel to good use instead of going and fucking some fire trail in a national park. They also can't get any urea, which means the winter crops will be fucked. Can't get any diesel to put in the tractor to spray paddocks out, let alone drill some fucken barley. It's fucked. Trucks can't get any fucken diesel which means no cunt will be spared when it comes to increases in everything from milk to fucken flavoured condoms. It'll all cost you more because without trucks, Australia fucken stops and that's the God's honest truth.

But to think the cunce in Canberra could give a fuck, you'd be a fucken poor simple cunt to think they'd lead by example.

If anyone can fucken carpool on this fucken rock in the southern ocean, it's the fucken pollies. They get flown to Canberra and driven around like what they do matters and they have any discernible talent that makes them special when it comes to running a portfolio. I'll tell you one thing, I've met hundreds of pollies and a fucken handful genuinely impressed me. The rest would cope worse in the wild than a fucken 15-year-old Pekingese dog turned loose in the fucken Amazon.

Deadset, you can fit 4 pollies in a beamer and their fucken staff can get the bus or that dumb as shit light rail they have in Canberra. Fucks sake, you can cut it in quarters just like that. Sure, Albo probably needs his own car because him and his boys probably talk about secrets and whatnot. But rest of them, what's their excuse? What the fuck does Dan Tehan do that means he needs a car? Dan should be on the bus or sharing a ride in with fucken Tim Wilson, they can fucken talk about Victorian Leg Tennis or whatever Victorians talk about when nobody's listening. Seriously, how hard can it fucken be?

More to come.