“You Can Do Anything You Want For Father’s Day” Says Mum Who Certainly Wouldn’t Be Impressed If Local Man Went To The Pub When It Opened, Drank Five Schooners An Hour, Bought A Fresh Deck Of Black Market Cigarettes, Took $500 From The Joint Account To Pun

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact

A father of two from Betoota Heights says his only wish for Father’s Day is to spend the entirety of Sunday in the French Quarter, away from family responsibilities and surrounded by his mates.

Trent Callinan, a 41-year-old city worker, confirmed that his ideal celebration would begin when the doors crack open at The Gilded Lillee Hotel.

From there, he intends to maintain a steady rhythm of five schooners per hour, supported by a newly purchased deck of black market cigarettes (up yours Mark Butler) and a cash withdrawal of five hundred dollars from the joint household account to back his quaddie selections.

Speaking to The Advocate on Saturday evening, Callinan said he also hoped to enjoy the day without receiving a single message from his children.

“No texts, no FaceTime, nothing. Just a clean run until four in the morning,” he said.

Callinan also listed a fist fight in which no one is injured, an opportunistic puff on a stranger’s vape, and “some ketamine” as part of his planned activities.

His wife, Melissa, said she had already told him he could “do whatever he wants” for Father’s Day, but clarified that she expected him to cook breakfast for the family, mow the lawn, spend the afternoon with her parents and put both kids to bed while she has a nice scroll on Instragram.

Whether Callinan will be permitted to follow through with his version of events remains unlikely.

More to come.