“Wow, That Was A Great Working Holiday! Time To Go Home Now” Says No Englishman Ever

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A wide-ranging survey of British people in Australia has found that none of them ever go home after coming here on a Working Holiday Visa

All British people who have arrived here on this particular pathway have ended up becoming a resident, followed by a citizen just a few years later.

One such Pom, Ben Brown, arrived here in 2010 and became a charity mugger out the front of a supermarket in Sydney. Since then, he's held a number of ultimately worthless jobs that contribute little to whatever company he's worked for and even less to the nation's productivity. He now does something in an office with a computer in our town's French Quarter.

"I thought I would stay and your stupid government said, 'No worries, you portly Lanc! We'll have you," said Brown.

"When I got married to an Aussie girl, they basically threw a passport at me. Thanks for having me,"

"Have you seen the state of England? Why would anybody want to live there if they didn't have to?"

The phenomenon is at odds with the "boomerang" nature of Australians moving to the UK. It's always temporary and ultimately, Australians end up going home when they've had enough of spending their entire life inside London's Zone 2.

The survey, conducted by the Housing Authority of Australia, struggled to find any English-born person in Australia who doesn't want to stay here forever.

In closing, Mr Brown explained that life is just better here.

"Don't know why it's a controversial take. I think Australians are spoilt, they don't know how good they have it. If you give anyone in the world a pathway to come here, they will come here. I'm just glad I look like the kind of Aussie that both major parties and One Nation want here," he said.

"So yeah, thanks for having me Albo."

More to come.