“Wow, A Fenced Playground. What A Perfect Spot To Let My Dumb Fucken Dog Off The Leash And Have A Scroll” Says Local Hooman

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Betoota Council has again reminded French Quarter residents that fenced playgrounds are not off-leash dog areas, following a rise in complaints about owners releasing their dumb pets into children's play spaces while they stand nearby scrolling on their phones.

Rangers say the issue has become routine, with multiple reports each week of dogs running through sandpits, pissing on equipment and leaving waste that is not collected. Several toddlers have also been knocked over by off-lead animals while their owners remain preoccupied with their screens.

When approached, many owners defend the behaviour by claiming their dogs are "basically their children" and therefore entitled to use the playground. Others insist their rescue staffie "would never bite anyone" and, if it did, it would "probably be the kid's fault for running at it like a fucken maniac like that other time".

One French Quarter father said the pattern is now predictable.

"They unclip the lead, lock into their phone and let the dog do whatever the fuck it wants. Then they act shocked when you point out that the cunnavathing has bowled over my 2 year old and the sandpit has another fresh deposit in it," he said.

"They get aggressive."

Council officials say the signage is clear and that hygiene and safety standards cannot be maintained while dogs remain off-leash in playgrounds.

"If people want to let their animals run around, there are two dedicated off-leash parks within walking distance," said a council spokesperson.

"Playgrounds are for kids. Not for your fucken fur baby."

Further enforcement measures are under consideration.

More to come.