ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
US President Elon Musk has sensationally revealed overnight that the nation behind the crippling cyberattck on his X is our second-closest neighbour.
“It’s New Zealand,” said Musk.
“They’ve brought X to their knees. We will have all systems back online soon. All the IP addresses originate in Wellington, New Zealand.
Musk did not give any further details about the origin of the attack, including whether he believes it was connected to the New Zealand government.
It is possible to mask IP addresses and make it seem as though the traffic is coming from some other place, and spoofing locations is often offered by hackers-for-hire. However, the New Zealand Government has all but confirmed the origin of the attack and is now investigating.
There are over a dozen computers in New Zealand according to the CIA World Factbook and nearly all of them are split between Auckland and Wellington. There is one in Christchurch and a Blackberry phone in Dunedin.
If Musk’s allegations are true, the coordinated attack would’ve required the combined computer power of all 16 computers currently connected to the internet in New Zealand.
In 2025, cutting-edge computing technology is alive and well in New Zealand, where some of the most powerful machines from 2005 are still running strong. An Apple Power Mac G5 Quad is currently the primary auditing machine at the New Zealand Tax Office, while the Dell XPS 600 powers the self-checkout kiosks at an Auckland Pak’nSave. Over in Hamilton, an Alienware Aurora 7500 is still being used by a former Tall Black to play Counter-Strike: Source at max settings. Meanwhile, the IBM IntelliStation A Pro runs a critical weather forecasting model in Christchurch, albeit with a few “Please Wait” errors. The HP xw9300 Workstation sits proudly in a Dunedin engineering firm, where the CAD software crashes slightly less than it did in 2006.
Further south, an Apple PowerBook G4 (17-inch) is still the main laptop in use at Invercargill’s second-best accounting firm, the best still used paper and a pocket calculator, while a Dell Inspiron XPS Gen 2 remains the primary computer for an Oamaru-based pornographer. The IBM ThinkPad T43p is in daily use by a Timaru lawyer who insists on keeping Windows XP for security reasons. Meanwhile, a Toshiba Qosmio G25 is currently running the Point-of-Sale system for a Greymouth bakery, with the DVD drive still loaded with Shrek 2.
Not to be outdone, a Sony VAIO VGN-A690 serves as the main computing resource for a Nelson city council department, with staff marvelling at its futuristic widescreen display. Over in Blenheim, a Sun Ultra 20 Workstation is responsible for running the automated irrigation system of a vineyard, though it does require a hard reboot every few weeks. Meanwhile, a Falcon Northwest Mach V, originally purchased for gaming, now powers the lighting rig at a Queenstown nightclub, where it still runs Winamp and Kazaa. And finally, an Apple iMac G5 (iSight Model) is put to work at Wanaka Hospital where locals hold up their injuries to the camera and a doctor in Christchurch tells them if they’re fucked or not through the power of the internet.
The New Zealand Government has admitted that there may be more illicit computers in the country but refused to comment further.
More to come.
