Woman With Hectic Dating Schedule Helps Friends Keep Track By Using Very Descriptive Nicknames

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local bachelorette has thoughtfully come up with a strategy to help her friends keep track of her dating life, by employing the use of descriptive nicknames that sometimes border on insulting.

Abbey Muscat [24] had originally referred to blokes by their real names like a normal person, but quickly found her friends unable to keep track of who’s who – especially as 50% of the male population appeared to be named Tom, Will or Alex.

So now, Abbey employs the use of nicknames that either describe a physical feature or memorable quality, which has vastly improved her friend’s user experience.

“Eugh Phineas hasn’t messaged me back”, says Abbey, referring to a bloke she was keen on that had a very large snoz, “and neither has Hot Wheels”

[Because he’s hot and drives a very nice car].

“Oh that’s such a bummer, have you heard from Mr Drippy yet?”, queried her bestie, Emma [a very nice bloke who unfortunately had a bit of a sweating problem].

“Yeah but I don’t know if I’m keen if I’m being honest, EUGH!, why is finding my person sooooo hard?”

“Fuck it, I’m just going to hit up Donkey Dick Dan.”

[Self explanatory]

More to come.