Woman Washes And Stores Another Jar Just In Case

TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact

Juliette Patton comes from a long line of jam and condiment makers, and for the past 30 years of her life she has been conditioned to keep every jar – just in case.

The fact that she’s never once simmered down fruit or blitzed horseradish is irrelevant, and this evening Patton is once again carrying out her evolutionary duty by washing and putting away a homebrand Dijon Mustard jar.

“You never know,” she said to The Advocate as she placed the jar into a cupboard filled with close to one hundred other jars that have followed a similar process.

However, someone close to Patton does know, and he says that her hoarding of jars is almost pathological at this point.

“We’ve been together for 10 years and she has never once cooked anything that gets stored in a jar.” revealed an exasperated Johnno, Patton’s boyfriend and potential future husband.

“In fact, the only time she opens that cupboard is to put jars in it, it’s a one way operation”

“She keeps saying that the jars are a part of her ‘hope chest’ whatever that is.”
“The only thing I hope is that our apartment catches on fire and everything miraculously survives, except those jars.”

More to come.