Woman Reading Spicy Novel Too Horrified By Description Of Love Interest’s Anatomy To Find It Arousing

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A woman reading one of her naughty novels has yet again herself more repulsed than aroused, after reading the author’s very flowery description about the love interest's genitalia.

Having picked up a copy of ‘A Crown Of Blood & Jizz’, the third instalment of the vampire fairy series recommended to her by Tik Tok, Hayley Stewart, 28, had been champing at the bit for Nettle, the protagonist, to finally have a saucy scene with the leader of the vampire fairies, Kardamon.

Having already been sceptical by the fact Kardamon was 6’10 and had hands the ‘size of dinner plates’, it was the description of his impossibly massive wang that had Hayley grimacing in horror.

“As a veteran smut reader, I much prefer an enemies to lovers storyline where the couple take a long time to get together”, explains Hayley, “I like that delayed gratification.”

“But this scene was not gratifying at all. In fact, I’d say it was the opposite.”

Hayley says that even though she can reserve judgment for most things, which one must when reading supernatural pornography, she draws the line at a dangerously large wang.

“What do you mean it was the size of Nettle’s arm, and so girthy she could barely fit both hands around it."

"Surely that put you in hospital?"

"That really doesn't sound pleasant at all

More to come.