Woman Dressed Head To Toe In Brown Thinks She's Immune To Fashion Trends

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

Local woman Amy Bernbach thought she was immune to the manipulations of modern advertising and trend cycles pushed by the global fashion illuminati. However, those claims came under scrutiny this afternoon thanks to a friend who pointed out the 27-year-old is wearing head-to-toe brown. 

Witnesses who saw the interaction described it as a 'Miranda Priestly' style dressing down where the friend made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that Bernbach was only dressing herself like a giant turd because it’s what 'they' wanted. 

The Advocate later found Bernbach while she was wandering aimlessly around a luxury department store in the French Quarter. 

"I thought I had individuality and agency," she began, "But look at me. I’m just like every other 27-year-old on TikTok."

"Next you'll tell me that I don't actually look good in loafers."

At the time of press, Bernbach was seen holding up a beige trench coat and whispering, "Is this me… or is this propaganda?"

More to come.