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With Silly Season Over, Local Bloke's Best Bet For Having An Ice Cold Mainstream Beer Is With The Old Fella Next Door When He's Done With His Lawn
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CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With British soul-pop star Olivia Dean taking out first place in the Hottest 100 at 8pm on Saturday night, the 2025/2026 Silly Season is officially done and dusted.
Starting on the first Tuesday of last November with the Melbourne Cup, the window for no-reason beers and indulgent bar food has officially closed.
Australians are no longer cloaked in immunity when it comes to putting away Christmas ham, pudding, rum, soft drink, chippies, choccies and biccies.
However, that doesn't mean one must go dry. It simply means you need a better reason to have a beer than you did over the last three months.
Simply saying "That time of the year, I guess" doesn't really cut it anymore. Not with the boss, not with the family.
As everyone begins ramping up their belated new year health kicks, one local man really just wants to have a cold lager.
40-year-old Derrick Searson says it'd be a shame to let this warm weather go to waste, because we've got all of winter to be stuck in doors eating soup for dinner.
With his wife now not even trying to be subtle about his Silly Season weight gain, there is an expectation that Derrick must achieve something productive before he lets the air into another cold can of mainstream beer.
Or, as Derrick reasons, he could wait until someone else does something productive.
"That old fella next door has had the mower going for a couple hours at least"
"Look at the edges, too. That is what I call 'house proud' - he's working up a sweat too"
Derrick has now set the stage for an undeniable cold one. Desmond, the late 60-something retiree next door is good enough company, even if he does occasionally make catastrophically politically incorrect comments about modern parenting.
"I better take a couple tins round to the fence line when he wraps up." says Derrick.
"God knows he's deserved it"
"Probably not bad for our own property value to have a house that neat sitting next door"
While Derrick's own lawn could use a bit of love and care, he says it defeats the purpose of having a cold one if he has to do it alone after finishing he chores, and Desmond looks thirsty now.