With All This Shit Going On, Empathetic Suburban Man Decides He Needs To Put Away 10 Cans Of Lager While Listening To Bad Dreems

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Local bricklayer, Hector Trevor (30) has always had his finger on the pulse when it comes to what's going on in the world.

With a broad understanding of Australian history and politics, this reserve grade football icon is unwittingly up to date on most kitchen table conversations.

But he's not one to launch into partisan tirades - because he knows he wouldn't have too many blokes to drink with if he started testing the moral purity of the people he lives alongside in suburban Australia.

Over the last ten years, he's witnessed the rise of political populism and social media's affects on the Australian male pathology through the dumb cunts on the worksite.

He's seen seemingly normal blokes begin regurgitating radical ideologies that they picked up from talking heads on the algorithm. He's also seen a number of his workmates and fellow clubmen become way too invested in imported culture wars.

"When did these blokes become experts on global economics and geopolitics?" he confides in the Betoota Advocate.

"They don't know the difference between the lower house and the senate"

"Why do they keep talking about Aussie culture like we live in some Christian ethnostate. What do their mothers think of this rubbish?"

As of late, he's starting to realise what he thought was an embarrassing cultural fringe has gradually cemented into everyday discourse.

Now, with a new war in the Middle East, petrol prices through the roof, and immigrants taking the blame for both the housing crisis and the economic slump - Hector is having trouble not calling a spade a spade.

"Some of these blokes..." he mutters.

"Up to their gills in Sportsbet and Onlyfans... But feminism is the reason they can't get a root"

Fortunately, Hector does has core unit of likeminded thinkers in this media vacuum of middle class suburbia. And the South Australian rock group Bad Dreems have just released a new album for the millions of quietly spoken Australian men like them.

He's thinking he needs to link up with these fellas.

"I reckon ten ice cold tins, 5 camping chairs and Ultra Dundee on the bluetooth speaker. No iPhones allowed" he says.

"That might be what we need.

"Because I'm gonna strangle one of these cunts if I don't let the poison out"