ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A confused local parent has demanded answers this morning after being subjected to a modern animated reboot of a once-beloved children’s television program.
Father of one Tom Watson, who grew up with the original Fireman Sam, said the current version bore no resemblance to the stop-motion classic that once featured hand-painted puppets, a small Welsh village and an entire cast voiced by one bloke in a sound booth.
"Back then it was clay, felt, wood, and imagination," he said.
"Now it’s shiny, worthless animation that looks like it was rendered on a Lenovo Thinkpad from 2008. Integrated graphics and 128mb of RAM."
Watson went on to praise the original show's theme song, describing it as the sort of restrained, earnest melody Johnny Marr would have been proud to have written during a particularly thoughtful afternoon.
He said the disappointment triggered memories of other cultural losses, including Thomas the Tank Engine, which was once narrated by Ringo Starr before being converted into what they described as "high-gloss animated slop with no soul" and "for-profit cartooning".
"Same thing happened to Brum, too," he added.
"Once a charming, silent little car bumbling through Birmingham. Now it’s probably got dialogue and glosses over the fact that Birmingham is a massive shithole, where I feel the original embraced how much of a dump it is."
Experts say the decline can be traced to shrinking budgets, faster production schedules and the quiet belief that children won’t notice or care. According to the parent, they absolutely will.
"Kids used to watch something made by people who cared," he said.
"Now they’re watching content optimised for shareholders. It's so stimulating as well, no wonder toddlers are all mad these days."
More to come.
