"Well That Was Easy" Shrugs Barnaby As He Gets Coalition To Destroy Itself

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today shrugged his shoulders with the relaxed confidence of a man who knows that one well-timed tantrum can turn a major political coalition into a smoking crater.

This development follows the Liberal Party's decision to dump its net zero emissions target after a marathon party room meeting that resembled the collapse of Yugoslavia. The decision has plunged the Coalition into a familiar cycle of grievance, recrimination and wet lettuce bastardry. Most observers agree that the match was struck the moment Barnaby announced he was done with the Nationals and done with pretending to tolerate any policy that might reduce emissions before the sun burns out.

"Well that was easy," said Joyce from his Danglemah lifestyle block.

He spoke while rolling his 15th Heaps Normal XPA of the evening around in his hand like a man waiting for a thunderstorm to blow in.

"I made some comments about net zero being insane. I said I was leaving. I did an interview or two. Next thing you know the Liberals are painting over their own climate targets and the whole Coalition is tearing itself apart like washing machine with a brick in it."

Nationals insiders say Joyce's threat to walk was treated as a political emergency. Veteran MPs reportedly described it as a situation that required immediate triage. Within days the Nationals dumped net zero from their platform. Within more days the Liberals held a five hour meeting where a majority declared that Barnaby had been right all along. Moderates left the meeting looking like their electability is now terminal.

Party officials briefed that the shift was about affordability and reliability. Critics suggested it was about fear and convenience. Supporters said it was about sovereignty. None of those explanations convinced anyone outside the room.

Canberra analysts say Joyce did not destroy the Coalition on his own. They say he simply loosened the screws, jiggled the hinges and then walked off before anyone noticed the doors had fallen off. They say the Coalition was already unstable. They say Barnaby provided the push.

Joyce denies any strategic intent. He described himself as a humble rural representative who wants common sense to prevail. He said that he would consider returning to the Nationals when they reach a more sensible policy position. He suggested withdrawing from international agreements. He suggested abandoning the Geneva Convention, for example. He did not elaborate.

Moderate Liberals have warned that metropolitan voters may react poorly to the destruction of the party's climate policy. Conservatives don't care.

Barnaby Joyce has taken it all in stride.

"If the Liberals collapse every time I stand up and stretch my legs that is not my fault," he said.

"I just said what I thought. They are the ones who decided to burn down their own house."

More to come.