Wealthy Older Man Begins Wearing Round Spectacles In Declaration Of His Left-Wing Views

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

For Ross Wylett (68), maintaining progressive political views is much harder than it is for most bleeding heart lefties.

For one, he’s made a lot of money out of the workers.

And two, he’s a rich old white man who lives in a suburb that puts fairy lights in the trees for no reason.

After a fruitful career as a manufacturer of fibreglass ceiling tiles, the retired Betoota Grove-based grandfather of four found himself often having to preface any long lunch with the fact that he votes for the Australian Greens and believes that refugees are humans.

“I know I get called a hypocrite for my environmentalist views” he says.

“What with all of the land fill I’ve been responsible for… But still, it doesn’t mean I don’t care about maintaining a future for the Great Barrier Reef”

Ross says after a lifetime of discreetly donating money to Indigenous charities and organising lunches with Labor politicians and Kerry Packer – his extensive art collection just wasn’t giving enough hints to the fact that he thinks Alan Jones should have been jailed for the part he played in inciting the Cronulla Riots.

In fact, so uncommon is it for a man of his age and tax bracket to give a fuck about public housing, that Mr Wylett has had to start wearing rounded spectacles – in an effort to identify himself as a baby boomer leftie.

“It’s really cut down how often I find myself having to defend the Sudanese-Australian community at the golf club” he says.

“People just see the spectacles and decide to talk to me about the #MeToo movement’s affect on Australian theatre”