"We Are Totally Fucked" Thinks Nine Employee Seeing This In Kitchenette

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A worker at Channel 9's headquarters in North Sydney has suddenly realised the company is totally fucked and irretrievable amid concerns over its future viability.

With the share price collapsing like a tower of poorly stacked magazines and management kowtowing to the board like a smacked dog, the signs closer to the coalface of legacy media are speaking much louder than any memo or fireside chat with the boss could ever spell out.

"We are totally fucked," said one sales representative on the 21st floor.

"Totally fucking fucked."

This was uttered seconds after they saw a 1-kilo tin of International Roast and an Anko kettle where the coffee machine and Zip tap once lived.

Cracks were emerging, but it seems now the earthquake shareholders long feared has finally happened.

"The Zip tap had been rooted for a while," they said.

"And nobody came to fix it. Which wasn't too bad, we still had hot water from the coffee machine. But now the coffee machine is gone. This is bad news."

"They also took our Lenovo ThinkPads back and gave us refurbished MacBook Airs. I can't think of a bigger red flag than that. It's over. That and the International Roast, I'm not putting that shit in my body. I live in the coffee capital of Sydney, Cammeray."

The Advocate reached out to Nine Entertainment Co for comment but was told the company does not make comments on things that could manipulate its share price.

More to come.