Withered Garlic Found To Be Only Item Containing Nutritional Value In Pantry Of All Boys Sharehouse

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT

An inspection of a share house has today revealed that 19-year-old boys fair reasonably well, despite subsisting on various forms of alcohol and whey powder, and the odd packet of expired two-minute noodles.

And though this way of living would be considered barely scraping the poverty line, the Daroo street boys appear to be as fit as fiddle, – if only harbouring a slender frame no amount of deadlifts can fix and the occasional bong induced dry cough.

In fact, the only item to contain nutritional value appears to be a garlic clove, which was no doubt leftover from the last tenant.

“Yeah it’s a pretty sick place”, says the ‘Snake pit’ leader Liam as he brandishes an empty bog roll, “pretty cheap too, considering the size of it.”

Sweeping his hand to showcase a very large but very dilapidated Queenslander, Liam’s next words are almost clipped by the sound of a nearby train, which sends the whole house rattling with the telltale clinks of empty beer bottles.

“Close to transport too.”

“Win win.”

More to come.