ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The people of Western Australia, the Tuskens, have been granted immunity by their de facto leader Mark McGowan today should they shoot mining magnate Clive Palmer’s plane down if he decided to come to the hermit state without permission.

The Tuskens have been maintaining a watch from the Nullabor to the Kimberly along their border, which has yet to be tested by Clive Palmer and his disturbingly soft hands.

Speaking to The Advocate today via prerecorded holographic message, Premier McGowan, who isn’t Tusken by birth but by nature, said he only wants to protect his people.

“We don’t need this man coming here,” said McGowan.

“He’s a menace. He was going to take $30bn from us, for what? If Clive comes here, it will open up our borders and expose us to the deadly Pangolin’s Kiss which is plaguing the world. I won’t let it happen,”

“So I’m taking every opportunity to stay on the front foot. If the Tuskens manage to shoot down Clive’s plane, they won’t face criminal proceedings here in The West,”

“To my Tusken friends in the east, I say ‘Gaan vinnig in die nag en skiet reguit. Die Weste is afhanklik van u.'”

More to come.


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