Visiting Queenslanders In Awe Of The Melbourne Ovoidal Stadium

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Two boys from Betoota Heights have made the pilgrimage south to cheer on the Brisbane Lions in today’s AFL Grand Final and immediately found themselves in awe of the Melbourne Ovoidal Stadium.

The North Queensland Cowboys tragics, on their first ever visit to the Victorian capital, admitted they thought the name was perfectly logical. After all, the only Melbourne venue they’d heard of before was the Melbourne Rectangular Stadium.

“Reckon it makes sense, but,” said one of them.

“That one’s rectangular, this one’s oval. So it’s the Melbourne Ovoidal Stadium. What’s next, a triangular one for darts? That’d be mad, but.”

The discovery that the Boxing Day Test is played on the same turf sent the pair into what witnesses described as genuine shock.

“We thought cricket was held at some other ground called the Melbourne Cricket Place,” explained his mate.

“Turns out it’s the same joint. Blows the mind, but.”

The boys, who until now had only travelled interstate for a Cowboys away game in Sydney, which they hated, say the sheer scale of the venue “makes Suncorp look like a postage stamp” and that they’d never seen so many Victorians in one spot without them protesting.

Despite the education, the boys faithful remain unmoved.

“Don’t care what Melburnians say,” one shrugged.

“It’s oval. It’s ovoidal. That’s just geography, mate. Consistency is key, but.”

Police confirmed they’ll be keeping an eye on the pair after they attempted to order rum before noon, which is illegal in Victoria.

More to come.