Uber Driver’s Pyramid Scheme Pitch Most Exciting Thing About Night Out In Sydney

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After a night out in the Harbour city, Bridgette McClymont (20) says the most interesting and exciting part of the evening was her Uber driver home.

“He was very interesting. He used to work in real estate but now he’s semi-retired because he’s discovered this cool new multi-layered marketing business” says Bridgette, who finished dinner at 10:03 in Kings Cross, only to learn that it was time to go to bed because all the bottle shops had shut.

“Yeah, he used to live in Newcastle. Which was also interesting, because now he lives in Parramatta.”

“He also sells these health supplements that you can sell as well take. He reckons I could work from home two days a week”

In an increasingly quiet and lifeless Australian capital city, the streets of Sydney have seen a 90% drop in foot traffic since the lock out laws were implemented in 2014. This means majority of Sydney youth are now forced to stay put on weekends in their exorbitantly high rental homes.

The remaining 10% in foot traffic is predominantly grey-haired baby boomers who think it is appropriate to walk their dogs at 11pm on a Friday night.

In October 2015, Former Premier Baird brought the entire audience at the NSW Women’s Temperance League to tears with his emotional recount of how his Dad had to miss church one morning in the 60’s because he had too many beers the night before. A firm and fair justification of the new laws.

However, with it now illegal to even sell kebabs past midnight in Sydney city, visiting Betoota resident Bridgitte McClymont literally has nothing she can do until the day trade begins at roughly 6:30 am.

“I’ll get up nice and early for a coffee, I guess,”

“I can’t believe my Uber driver tonight was working so late.”