Token Leftie At Productivity Roundtable Really ‘Killing The Vibe’ With All This ‘Fairness’ And ‘Housing’ Chat

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

As the productivity round table enters its second day, larger business groups have reportedly been relatively satisfied with the lacklustre proposals and modest suggestions made from the nations most powerful.

For most in the room, the agenda has pretty much been around making sure workers are more productive.

A tax for EV drivers here, and some hollow talk about AI regulation there.

However, to the absolute dismay of the room, a random token lefty Richard Deanson made a compassionate speech about the possibility of real lasting reform in Australia. Identifying that fairness, equity and transparency should underpin this reform.

Mr Deanson acknowledged that his appearance at the round table was largely symbolic and that he was mostly there to preserve the facade of real economic debate in the country.

However, this did not stop him from pointing out the real economic issues at the forefront of Australian politics.

“All you cunts own like 15 houses each, reforming capital gains, negative gearing and franking credits would be such a modest reform and you all know it. Teachers are paying more tax than the gas industry, what’s left of the public housing sector is being privatised, HECS debt is skyrocketing and the big banks and grocery chains are getting away with murder and recording billions of dollars in profit,” Mr Deanson grumbled.

One of the big wigs from Woodside reportedly turned to discount Sco Mo (Shadow Treasurer Ted O’Brien) and quietly asked “who let this freak in?”

Whilst most speakers at the economic round table were given roughly half an hour to plead their case for some weird tax work around that probably won’t do anything to increase productivity in the nation, Mr Deanson was only awarded 8 minutes.

“Yeah look, I knew what I was getting myself into. To be honest I think most of the Labor MP’s and business big wigs ducked out for morning tea when I grabbed the mic. I’m hoping that some sections of the media will report on what I was saying but I’m not holding my breath.”

Mr Deanson had reportedly totally ‘killed the vibe’ and a deep sense of calm returned to the room when the next business big wig got up and spoke passionately about the need to reduce corporate tax in order to boost productivity.

The speech was met with a standing applause with some business officials reportedly having tears in their eyes.

More to come.