Three Injured After Ashes Heroics Inspires Group Of City Workers To Have Net A Session

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Several workers from the Old City District are expected to lodge minor complaints with their spouses and colleagues today, reporting they feel "stiffer than a boogie board" and "tighter than a snare drum" after an incident at the nets in Machattie Park on yesterday evening.

The more serious reports involve three colleagues who are unlikely to make it into work at all, following an afternoon session inspired by the opening Test of this year’s Ashes, where England folded inside two days.

According to witnesses, the group met at the nets in the French Quarter shortly after lunch and attempted to replicate the intensity of the Perth match. One man padded up without a box while the others ran in and bowled at what they believed to be just off Jofra Archer's pace.

Deliveries varied significantly. Some were short. Some were full. Several bounced twice. One did not bounce. A number hit the side netting. One ball travelled back towards the bowlers at head height, prompting them to duck despite insisting they were “comfortable against the short stuff”.

The session deteriorated almost immediately.

Max Freenow, a 35-year-old insurance adjuster at Allianz Betoota, tore a pectoral muscle on his opening delivery and was forced to bowl spin with his nondominant arm. Shortly after, another bowler struck the batsman on the sternum with a full toss. He retired hurt and sat on the esky until he could breathe normally and the urge to cry passed.

In the fading light, the group decided to finish the session. On the final ball, solicitor Tim Reston attempted a bouncer, strained his side and required a lift home from Max’s mother, who had arrived to take her son to the emergency room.

When contacted this afternoon, the group expressed no regret and confirmed they were planning another session later in the week. However, Reston explained he might wait until his urine

More to come.