KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Eyebrows have been raised far and wide across a backyard barbeque this afternoon, after a newly crowned boyfriend decided to introduce himself to a family as, ‘The Ripped Jeans Guy’.
Strutting out across the Sir Walter lawn of a Betoota Heights home, it’s believed local gym junkie and WRX enthusiast Jackson Carney, almost tripped over himself thanks to the several threads of denim hanging loosely off his knees.
Making his debut at the large lunch gathering of the O’Sullivan family Christmas, Mr Carney is said to have caused some concern due to his poor decision to turn up in shredded denim.
“Look I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt cos he had a strong handshake,” said Uncle Wayne, speaking to The Advocate.
“But let’s be real, those jeans he’s wearing have more rips than Fraser Island.”
“Also he’s soaked in cologne, so all I smell is trouble!”
Despite making an obvious attempt to display polite table manners at lunch, it’s understood that Mr Carney’s large aviator sunglasses were also causing stress to the amily matriarch, Julie O’Sullivan.
“We’re always very welcoming here, so when my daughter Natalie said she’d like to invite her new boyfriend over I said the more the merrier,” said Mrs O’Sullivan.
“My daughter told me he owned a few gym franchises in town so I was hoping he’d be quite well to do.”
“It’s a pity he couldn’t dress right for the occasion, this could be our dear Nan’s last Christmas and all she’ll remember is seeing that boy’s exposed knee caps and half his ass cheeks hanging out of his backside.”
After witnessing Mr Carney attempt to join the males standing around the barbeque, The Advocate can confirm young Jackson is living on borrowed time.
“Firstly, he said no to my offer of a Betoota Bitter from the esky and said he’d have a Seltzer instead,” said Uncle Wayne.
“Secondly he couldn’t even change the gas bottle on the barbie?!”
“On ya jog mate, this new fella won’t last past Feb!”
