SHORE School boy receives job on merit alone

In what may come as a surprise to many, a former Sydney Church of England Grammar School (SHORE) student has landed a job based entirely on his merit.

Castle Cove native Rupert Henry Jasper Humphreys decided to break the mould and impulsively apply for a job at Cremorne McDonalds late last week

“I was stoned, ordering a big mac and it struck me. I thought at the age of 26 it was about time I got a job. I’m not much good at counting so dealing pingers wasn’t an option. I handed over my Resume and Robert Oliver Hamish Humphrey’s your uncle, I got it!“

While this move may seem trivial to most, it’s a move that certainly goes against the grain of most SHORE School alum.

While only 50% of the school leavers of the last 10 years have jobs, 99% of them got their jobs through family ties and corporate back scratching, making Rupert’s achievement even more astounding.

Rupert’s father Wilbur was as surprised as anyone; “I’ve had Rupert primed for a job at Mac Bank since he was a young chap. To see him do something on his own is a disgrace to the Humphreys name.”

Shore school headmaster Timothy Wright declined to make comment on the situation pending an investigation conducted by the old boys union.