Shirtless Man On A Sunny Winters Day Has Misjudged The Vibe Of The Park

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

A local bloke in Edinburgh Gardens has today completely misjudged the vibe of the park, deeming it perfectly reasonable weather to take his top off.
Witnesses, who say the man was alone, describe him as being ‘uncomfortably pale’ with a ‘soft build’, bearing a faded red V-neck tan, which suggests this may be the first time his chest has received some vitamin D.

It’s alleged the bloke was also taking his shoes and socks off, where he then dedicated a good ten minutes to tugging at tufts of grass with his toes.

However, that act received less scrutiny from the public, who were mostly perturbed by the fact that he had neither a phone nor a book in hand.

Local dog walker Jesse Ferndale spoke to The Advocate about the situation.

“This bloke fully missed the mark”, says Jesse, “You just can’t be taking your shirt on a sub 30 degree day.”

“We’ve all been there, you know, wondering, is it shirts off weather? But that decision isn’t taken lightly. You should be at least in back sweat territory before you whip it off.”

“And he just…sat there, staring off into the distance. Happy to just bask in the world around him without a single source of stimulus.”

“That’s fucking weird if you ask me.”

Whilst the collective consensus was that the shirtless man did indeed kill the park’s vibe, some sources are saying that the man’s biggest critics were other men who were possibly jealous of how little he gave a fuck.

More to come.