Self Proclaimed Inner City Intellectual Absolutely No Match For Suburban Parents In The Saturday Quiz

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

Self-proclaimed young intellectual Raphael Anderson copped an ego bruising for the ages after being annihilated by his suburban parents in the Saturday Paper Quiz.

At 20 years old, Anderson, who left the suburbs for an intellectual spirit quest, believes his academic capacity would rival that of his lectures at the Victorian College of the Arts.

Anderson, who majors in sculpture, is respected by his peers at the university and was described as ‘a pretty switched on dude’ by those closest to him.

Anderson, accompanied by his equally sophisticated girlfriend, also a student at VCA, made the journey to Anderson’s family home over the weekend so that he could do his washing and pick up large quantities of Bolognese.

That afternoon would forever be burnt into Anderson’s mind after his Mother and Father challenged Anderson and his partner to a jovial competition of the Saturday Paper Quiz.

In Anderson’s mind, this was the opportunity he had been waiting for to show his parents how his mind blossomed since starting university. But he was truly disgusted and shocked to learn his parents achieved a near perfect score of 9 whilst he and his partner had to swallow their pride earning just 4 points.

“My Dad didn’t even go to uni, how the fuck did he know what strand of philosophy Diogenes founded,” Anderson said after the historic defeat.

“Of course, we bested them at the one token pop culture question about the origins of Brat but when it came to the inevitable tennis question about Grand Slam scores from the early two thousands we were done.”

Anderson’s father sarcastically congratulated the couple on a score of 4. He assured them that someday, they too would hold a plethora of niche Australian factoids in their brains, just not today.”