Season Officially Changes As ‘Keep Off The Wicket’ Signage Appears On Local Oval

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The arrival of summer was confirmed this morning when laminated “Please Keep Off The Wicket Area Thanks” signage appeared at Jason Little Oval.

The oval, which until last week was used exclusively for three codes of football, is now considered out of bounds for everyone except entitled dog owners who think they own everything and everyone loves their dumb fucken dog as much as they do.

“It’s a truer gauge than seeing the green pick on the plane trees in town,” said Betoota Heights local Terry Hegarty.

“The first signs of summer always come the week after the last grand final, which I think was rugby union this year.”

Council workers installed the signs at 9am, marking the end of under-15s training drills and the beginning of arguments over why cricket teams get exclusive use of the oval for 10 hours every Saturday when emotionally-fragile dog enjoyers would like to walk their mutts on it.

Teenagers remain resistant to the policy.

“We’ll still kick a ball there and quickly run on the wicket to retrieve it,” said 14-year-old Connor.

“Or we might get on the Fat Little Lambs one night and set a wheelie bin on fire, right in the middle of it. For fun.”

The Betoota Heights Cricket Club said they would be monitoring compliance.

“We had some kids set a bin on fire on the wicket last year,” said president Dave McKenna.

“But now thanks to Premier Crisafulli, they will do adult time for it. Personally, we’d rather just flog them about the head and chest with a cricket stump but the legal system has gone woke.”

The first game of the regular Betoota Senior Cricket Season 25/26 is locked in for Saturday the 25th of October.

More to come.