Scotty Holds Focus Group To Decide Which ODI Shirt He’s Going To Wear To The First Test

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Our Bloke-In-Chief has some problems on his plate right now but none more so, he says, than deciding which “Aussie” cricket shirt he’s going to wear to the first Test Match in Adelaide next week.

Scott Morrison spent the morning with his Bloke Advisor, who helped him learn all the fielding positions, bowling styles and other cricketing jargon he’d need to know in case some impotent television journalist put him on the spot during the Test.

The Chief Bloke Advisor to the Prime Minister, Mr Bruce Steel OAM, spoke candidly to our reporter this morning about how Big Scott is going to choose his shirt after failing to realise that this masthead has been blacklisted by the Prime Minister’s Office.

“We’re holding some focus groups today to see what the people think,” he said.

“Doing what’s most popular is important for Scott. He’s done really well to prepare for the summer of cricket. We know now things like bowling around the wicket, over the wicket. Cut shots, hooks, pulls and drives. Pace bowling, spin. He’s got it all in his head now,”

“So all that’s left is choosing which shirt. Early reports suggest the 1999 Cricket World Cup might be a winner. I’ll have to get one then get ‘SCOMO’ screen-printed on the back. All in a day’s work.”

More to come.