Retired Grazier In Venice Quietly Wishes He Was Back In Augathella On The Farm He Just Sold Actually

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Sitting in a gondola that smells like hot fart and being serenaded unenthusiastically by a bloke in a straw hat for €120 an hour, retired Augathella grazier Doug Whitten has quietly admitted to himself that he would rather be back at the farm he sold three months ago.

The 68-year-old offloaded his 8,000-acre cattle property ‘Welrod Springs’ for $7.4 million after being told by his accountant, his useless-greedy-fucken-layabout children and half the town that now was time to “enjoy life” and “see the world” before he “gets too old to do so.”

Now halfway through an eight-week European jaunt, Doug says the only thing he’s enjoyed so far is looking at European farms and the one moment in Paris when he saw a butcher shop dedicated to selling horse meat.

“I’ve been to France, Rome, London and now Venice,” he said while glaring at his €13 Peroni in St Marks Square.

“And I’ll be honest with you mate… I miss standing in a paddock at five in the morning looking at my cows. Watching them walk, seeing the frame on my weaners. Generations of work that is. Thinking about see the genetics you pay for come up. It’s a real hoot and I miss it.”

Doug’s wife Julie insists they are having “the trip of a lifetime” and is currently photographing every single bridge in Venice. Doug has not told her that he would rather be sitting on his verandah watching soft rain come down on some tired and crisp pasture. A cold meat sandwich for dinner and an 8pm long black. Some chocolate later on perhaps. A phone call to a neighbour, friend or brother. Or all three.

“It’s all just people everywhere,” Doug said.

“It’s crook. It’s worse than the Ekka. It’s like going to cricket.”

With two and a half weeks still to go, Doug says he will smile for the photos but his heart will remain in the Mitchell grass country, where the air doesn’t smell like a busted septic.

More to come.