‘Performative Reader’ Outside Trendy Cafe Has Not Turned A Page For 15 Minutes 

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT

A man aggressively holding up a book to his face out the front of a local cafe hasn’t turned a page for 15 minutes.

Aaron Turner (28), a well groomed man and serial online dating app user, has adopted one of the newest mating calls for straight men around the world, reading a book in public.

Despite having finished his coffee over half an hour ago, Aaron was spotted loudly flexing his book out the front of a cafe on a busy thoroughfare.

When pressed on if he was doing this for attention, Aaron aggressively pushed back.

“That’s the problem with the world these days, men aren’t expected to read… It’s honestly sad that what i’m doing is unique. It should be the norm” Aaron explained.

When pressed further on why he hadn’t turned a single page for over 15 minutes, Aaron pointed to other reasons.

“Look, I really like to digest and contemplate the words I’m reading.. Sometimes that means I’m going to be a little slow..”

“I’m not in any rush to finish this book anyway”

Aaron then clarified that the book’s cover just happens to have the same colour as his shirt, which he claims is purely coincidental.

Witnesses say he eventually turned a page after seeing a girl his age walk by.

By the time he finally packed up and left, staff noted he had only progressed three pages in two hours.