ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Nationals leadership team spoke to the media this morning in Canberra where they pledged their support for a country family in their fight to stay in the country.

Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack explained that his party is as committed to protecting regional families from Peter Dutton as they’re to protecting our river systems from foreign-owned cotton conglomerates.

“Our team will always fight for regional families and communities,” he said.

“We have been voted in by them, they’re our bosses,”

“Ah, protecting them from things such as deportation and unemployment is as important to us as making sure our rivers are in good health. And ah, yeah. David, do you have anything to ad?”

Standing behind the Nationals leader, Ag Minister David Littleproud shook his head and gave his boss the double thumbs up.

“All right then. Any other questions?”

When asked by our reporter if he thought the Darling-Barwon River system was in good health, he said where the Nationals are, it is.

“In Nationals country directly, the rivers are bunji fine, joog,” said Michael.

“As for the lower Darling, mate, you’ll have to take that up with Sussan Ley. She’s the ah, David, is Sussan the Environment Minister?”

David laughed and nodded.

“Yeah, so, Oi you’ll have to bring that up with old double-S Sussan. But ah, yeah. The Darling is not in good health down in that country south of Broken Hill. But she’s a Liberal so she’s got no idea how things work in the bush, therefore the river is all fucked down there. Not our fault,” added Michael.

As the presser ended, Senator Matt Canavan spilt his muggachino down his front and cursed Jesus.

More to come.


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