Man’s Penchant For Straddling Barstools Directly Correlates To His Red Dead Addiction

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

While to the casual onlooker, it might seem that Brett Dunaway has a bad case of hip dysplasia.

However, he assured The Advocate last night that he doesn’t have the hips of a 17-year-old Labrador retriever, he’s just taken to riding barstools like he’s sitting on a horse’s back.

“I think I’ve been playing too much Red Dead,” he laughed.

“So much that I’ve started sitting like this on pretty much everything.”

Dunaway then took a sip from his cold schooner of iced Chardonnay and took a deep breath.

“I’m a cowboy! On a steel chair I ride! I’m wanted! Waaaanted! Dead or a live!” he sung.

Every security guard in the Lord Betoota Hotel then turned immediately to see who was the source of such unacceptable and crass behaviour.

Our reporter distanced himself from Brett, who was only two to three units of alcohol away from becoming an incontinent hot mess, while the security guards made their was toward him.

Mr Dunaway was then escorted from the venue and left in a crumpled heap on the floor of the Jones Street bus stop.

More to come.