Local Woman Cements Status As Office Pariah By Taking Single Bite Off Multiple Hot Wings

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT

A local woman has cemented her status as office pariah today after she was seen taking single bites off multiple hot wings.

It’s alleged the incident occurred during the annual office potluck, which should have been a good opportunity for workmates to get to know each other a glass of wine, and mutual love of cob loaf. However, for account coordinator Lynn Taylor, the event proved to be the nail in the coffin for her social standing which was already in rocky waters after a perilous week trying natural deodorant.

To make matters worse, Lynn is also suspected to be the person who brought in barbecue flavoured Sa Ka Tas and a weird olive dip that was close to being out of date – a key indication that a slap dash fridge forage was involved.

According to Betoota Grove etiquette teacher Agnes Ainsworth, Lynn’s social faux pas will likely haunt her forever, and that she’s ‘better off quitting’ as there’s not much she can do to redeem herself now.

“When it comes to a potluck, homemade food is best”, says Agnes, “though store-bought hot fried food or deli platters is definitely okay.”

Lynn’s colleague Rachel adds that the hot wing fiasco was particularly bad, as she’d made sure to choose the biggest wings to take a delicate sized bite out of.

“She ended up eating about twelve wings in total, or four, had she eaten them like a normal person”, says Rachel.

“Honestly, she can drop dead for all I care. You have to be a psychopath to pull that shit.”

MORE TO COME.