Local Woman Calls It A Day At 2PM

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local woman has confirmed she’s absolutely done for the day.

This development comes as international superstar Taylor Swift released her 12th studio album, The Life of a Showgirl, at precisely 2pm Australian time today, effectively derailing productivity in offices across the nation.

Though Kelsey Graham, 28, admits she doesn’t usually accomplish much work on a Friday afternoon anyway, given her comfortably cushy office job consists mostly of answering emails, she’s made it clear that today is a write off.

The laptop lid is down, the phone is out, and the headphones are ON.

And unlike Swift’s earlier heartbreak heavy albums, this record dives into the perils, glamour, and exhaustion of life under the spotlight, which, for a loved-up Kelsey, is perfect timing.

“I’ve got a nice fella, so I didn’t really need another gut wrenching album”, says Kelsey, “and with the current state of the world, some escapism is much needed.”

Many other office workers are expected to experience a nose dive in productivity this afternoon, and gym goers at boutique gyms run by gay trainers are already being warned that the Swift heavy HIIT session is imminent.

More to come