Local Melbourne Man Wastes Another Sunny Day Not Washing Bed Sheets

PETE CLARK

Melbourne

Local Melbourne man Justin Hume who resides in a Brunswick sharehouse with a ripping hills hoist in the backyard has once again wasted a rare opportunity to wash his bed sheets.

Hume (24) has been contemplating washing his sheets for some weeks now.

In a city that barely sees the sun, an opportune day to wash bed sheets doesn’t come around too often.

It can be reported that there wasn’t a cloud in sight, sky writers were feasting upon the blue sky.

Around Noon AEST Hume thought to himself this is my chance, I’m finally going to wash my sheets today.

Unfortunately for Hume, a beautiful Melbourne day prompted a far more exciting activity than washing linen, deleting beers in the park with his mates.

Mr Hume spoke with the advocate about this dilemma.

“I was fully gonna do it, I had the linen stripped off the bed when I got the call from my mate. Even though it was noon they were already in the park getting fucked up juggling a soccer ball and they demanded that I come down.”

“I really thought I’d come home and finish off the job but after nine hours of drinking and juggling in the park I was rinsed.”

Instead of seizing the opportunity Hume was outfoxed by one of his neardier housemates.

“I got home and dead set someone’s sheets were on the line. And to add insult to injury they’d washed their towels and put them out too, I was shattered.”

“Looking back it was probably worth it.”

Hume reportedly did a half assed job of remaking his bed and fell asleep late in the evening.

More to come.