Local Man ‘Taking A Break’ From IG Replaces Scrolling Reels For Scrolling Marketplace Listings

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

After becoming totally overwhelmed by a neverending feed of horrible world events and beautiful strangers, a local man has decided to replace his fiendish IG habits with a more healthy internet outlet, aka scrolling marketplace listings.

This comes as persistent new research reveals online world is taking a toll on people’s mental health, and many Australians are ‘taking a break’ from social media as a result.

Local man, Jack Henderson (26) revealed his thoughts behind the decision to ‘switch off’.

“I think my brain was getting fried, like beyond normal levels of brain rot. After taking a 3 day break from IG some colour is beginning to return to the world,” he said introspectively.

“But I couldn’t just sit there with my thoughts bearing down on me, I had to replace the habit with a more productive habit which led to me Marketplace. It’s amazing the stuff they’ve got on there, and so reasonably priced!”

Mr Henderson has reportedly begun saving Marketplace listings with no real intention of purchasing them and then becoming upset when they are sold.

Unfortunately Mr Henderson did not experience all the advertised benefits that supposedly come with deleting social media, such as ‘reduced depression and anxiety’ or ‘becoming more zen’.

Instead he has developed a new addiction of searching for mid-century modern furniture that he does not need.

“There’s just so much good shit on there, I feel like I need to be constantly searching and scrolling or I’ll miss out on the next best mahogany dining table!”

“I’m meeting up with a bloke later to pick up a lamp, you don’t get that shit with IG.”

More to come.