Local Man Insists It’s Not That Heavy, It’s Just Awkward To Carry

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A man moving house this afternoon down the road from The Advocate’s Daroo Street newsroom has laughed off suggestion that his mattress might be heavy.

Sam Jensen explained it was just awkward to carry.

“Nah, I’m all good,” he said as The Advocate’s editor Clancy Overell tried to help young Sam move the mattress into the back of his 15-year-old Camry.

“It’s all good, hey. It’s just a bitch to carry.”

Hunched over and breathing like he’d just been booted up the coight by Nathan Buckley going from fifty out, Sam didn’t sound very convincing.

“Actually, mate,” groaned Sam.

“Could you open the boot for me? It’s that pale blue Camry over there.”

Clancy obliged him and opened the boot then went to help him with the mattress again.

“Nah, nah, mate. I’m all good with the mattress.”

Then to get it in the car by himself, Sam dropped down to his knees on the asphalt behind his car and tried to push it in but it was just a little bit too wide.

“Fuck!” he hissed. “God, fuck me.”

At that moment, Sam resigned and decided to hand in his man card.

“Oi fellas, could you givvuce [sic] a hand, please? I’ve done my back.”

Clancy laughed.

“Nah mate, you can go and get fucked.”

More to come.