Local Kid Prepares To Dress Up As Bike Lane For Halloween To Really Frighten Elderly Neighbours

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Residents of Betoota Grove are on edge this week after word spread that twelve-year-old local boy, Mason Lafferty, plans to dress up as a bike lane for Halloween. Parents say it is all in good fun but many retirees in the leafy enclave are calling the stunt “provocative” and “cruel.”

The controversy stems from a plan by the Betoota Shire Council to build a continuous cycling path from the city to Betoota Grove. The proposed route would trace the northern shore of Lake Betoota, cut through the French Quarter and eventually connect with the quiet streets around the Grove. Urban planners say it would improve safety and reduce congestion. Locals say it will kill them.

“They’ll knock us straight into the gutter,” said longtime resident and aging Grove committee member, Lorraine Keash.

“They come flying along with their motors and bad manners. You don’t even see them until they’re already ringing their bell at you. It’s like being pashed by a Catholic boy,” said.

The sentiment is not unique to Betoota Grove. Across the French Quarter and the waterfront estates, elderly homeowners have voiced strong opposition to what they describe as an attack on their right to walk slowly and unpredictably across public paths.

“They should just move into one of those over 55s villages if they are that scared,” said Mason’s father, Trent Lafferty.

“Or bite the bullet and check into one of those aged care Inheritance Incinerators. It would free up the paths for everyone else,” said.

The debate has divided the community.

Some Baby Boomers have actually come out in favour of the bike lane, pointing out that it would at least speed things up for their parents.

“It’s cheaper and quicker than the aged care route,” said one man watering his lawn.

“You get knocked off cleanly. No paperwork. No invoices. Just bang. Splat. Gone. Then I get my money.”

For Mason, the costume is simple. His father has already fashioned him a sandwich board and that’s about it.

More to come.