Local Cat Might As Well Not Have A Tongue After Owner Insists On Bathing It Repeatedly

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon, a local cat who often frequents our newsroom’s designated smoking area in the downstairs courtyard said he doesn’t even know why he even bothers having a tongue because his owners wash him so often.

As our reporter and The Advocate‘s sports editor, Imran Gashkori, retired to the courtyard to enjoy a jazz cigarette, Lewis the Cat appeared on the rooftop – seemingly out of nowhere.

“You know what really grinds my gears?” Lewis asked our reporters.

“Getting a bath once a week. Does my tongue mean nothing to my owners? I don’t even know why I bother cleaning myself,”

“Have you ever felt a cat’s tongue? Here, feel mine.”

Imran and our reporter looked at each other, then reached out to feel Lewis’ outstretched tongue.

It was very rough.

“See. You think this thing is comfortable to have in your mouth?”

Imran turned away from Lewis and sat down alone in the middle of the courtyard, facing the opposite direction.

“Is he OK?” asked Lewis.

Our reporter shrugged.

Lewis asked what he was taking about and our reporter shrugged again.

More to come.