Local Cannabis Dealer Drives The Weirdest Car

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A local cannabis dealer isn’t rolling the dice on minor criminal charges in the pursuit of a luxurious lifestyle, it can be confirmed.

But he’s not exactly roughing it, either.

He’s simply just achieved the financial emancipation to provide himself with a comfortable middle class existence.

As one of the most reliable ‘plugs’ in Betoota’s Flight Path District, Jerome King (28) has been a purveyor of both bush and hydro marijuana for about ten years. On-and-off.

Unlike his contemporaries that sell the party drugs such as cocaine and MDMA, Jerome doesn’t have any of the flashy watches or private nightclub booths to boast of.

He has a bunch of video games and a fairly comprehensive indoor fish tank that is home to an exotic collection of sealife.

For those visiting Jerome at home, it seems the most expensive thing he owns is a 648L fridge that has a button for ice cubes.

Aside from the fact that he never really leaves his house for longer than 25 minutes at a time, and very rarely wears closed-in shoes, you could be forgiven for thinking that Jerome has a completely legitimate job. And with the marijuana market gradually being opened up to medical prescriptions – he pretty much does.

But what does he do with the money? Ten years ago he was the only dealer in this part of town. We all know the mark ups on his buds earned him a tidy margin back then. He’s not making enough to launder it, but he’s also been taking cash payments for a decade.

Surely that can’t all be going towards his 5 grand aquarium.

He very rarely travels overseas, unless he wants to take a break from bagging up and hooch and decides to take himself on holiday to visit Temples in some first-world Asian destination like Singapore or Malaysia.

Also, what’s the go with his car. Surely the hundreds of thousands of dollars he’s made selling the riverina rollie could afford him some decent Australian muscle.

Instead, he drives a 2011 Skoda Fabia. This car retails for less than the fish tank.

Sure, it doesn’t attract the same heat from the cops as an electric blue Skyline or emerald Commodore, but it also an extremely weird car for a young bloke to drive.

The Betoota Advocate sent a junior reporter around to Jerome’s house to get to the bottom of this mystery.

When asked what he liked to spend his money on, and if he was pooling away cash to eventually retire from this life of petty crime, Jerome revealed he was barely making ends meet.

“Wanna see why?” he asks the cadet journalist, excitedly.

“Check this out”

Jerome lifts up a sheetless mattress in his spare room, to reveal a rectangular antique chest.

“250,00 grand” he says, as he unboxes a 15th-century samurai sword.