One Bloke In Friendship Circle Refuses To Wear Shorts For Some Reason

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local bloke has stoutly refused to bear his pins despite the soaring temperatures, in what some are calling a case of the ‘never shorts.’

Much like never nudes, who refuse to be naked, even in a shower, ‘never shorts’ are people who refuse to wear shorts during summer and are the same kind of freaks who rock up to beach wearing jeans.

Usually men between the ages of 25 – 40, never shorts are usually born through feeling self conscious of their legs, which they deem either too hairy, too pale, too calf-less, or all three.

It’s estimated that roughly one in ten men suffer from this affliction.

What’s more, is that blokes who have a case of the never shorts are almost always very defensive when asked about their legs.

Such as the case of Betoota Heights bloke Danny Sims, who hasn’t bared his legs since he was a teen.

Speaking to Danny, our reporter tries to learn more about this strange affliction.

“I don’t really see what the big deal is, I just don’t like wearing shorts, SO WHAT!”, seethes Danny, looking visibly sweaty on this 32 degree day.

“I just find them uncomfortable.”

Our reporter asks if Danny would ever consider popping on a pair of shorts if the temperature hit the 40s.

He says no.

“Nope, never. I’m never EVER wearing shorts.”

More to come.